Relationships facts aren’t something I’m a complete expert in. But I’ve managed to get this far, so here goes. Nine years ago to the day, my boyfriend, partner and future-husband asked me to be his girlfriend. In the almost-decade that has followed, we have been through practically every milestone a relationship can expect to have, with the exception of having kids (though we do have two dogs and I’m pretty sure they’re more work). We’ve had euphoric highs and serious lows, and we’ve been challenged in so many ways. We met super young, so we’ve grown as people together, and along our journey, I’ve learned some hard relationship facts that I think I should share with you lovely people.
If you like this blog post, please help out by pinning, sharing or commenting – I’d really appreciate it!
Relationship facts I’ve learned in 9 years
1. Relationships require work, commitment and time.
You’re not going to be a relationship wizard overnight, in fact, you’ll never be one. The beauty of being in a long-term relationship or marriage is that people grow and change – and you get to adapt and grow together. There are ups and downs, but if you ride out the storms together it’ll all be worth it. Make the decision to stick together, make a plan for what you’d both like, and partner up.
2. Never go to sleep angry.
It’s cliche, and every relationship book says it, but it’s because it’s true! Always kiss goodnight. Always snuggle in bed. Going to sleep angry leads to restless nights for everyone.
3. You learn so much about how to make each other happy…
Learning the little things about someone is actually really romantic. Knowing someone’s quirks, telling their mood without having to ask (or have them say), is so intimate. You learn in time all the little things you can do to make your other half smile and feel better, and they learn the same about you. You become the other’s personal cheerleader, the light at the end of the tunnel after a shitty day.
4. …And what sets each other off.
From knowing what to do to tease your other half, to knowing what to say to really set them off in an argument. The hardest lesson is learning what not to say, especially in the heat of the moment. You’re going to argue, it’s only natural. But taking the time to think before you speak is a skill you learn to master over time. It can be tempting to say something completely out of line, and you will – regularly, but you learn to think before you speak, and to decide whether what you’d like to say is really worth saying.
5. Grand gestures are great, but it’s the small ones that make a difference.
The random bunch of flowers. The ‘have a nice day’ post-it on the fridge. They start to mean much more than expensive presents for valentines or Christmas. With how busy life can get, time becomes the most beautiful thing you can give to each other.
6. You are each other’s rock.
When you’re having a bad day, your partner becomes the one you lean on. The first person you call to cry down the phone to. The person who’s advice leads you to your major decisions. You lean on each other in ways you can’t lean on a friend or family member. Spending so much time together, sleeping in the same bed, planning your life together, all these things put your partner in the unique position of knowing you better than perhaps you even know yourself. And the same for you to them.
7. Time apart is haaaaaard.
Whether it’s a long weekend away, or just a long working day, you’ll always look forward to seeing each other. The longer or more frequent the time apart, the harder it gets. It doesn’t get any easier just because you know you’ll be together again soon, or because you know you’re spending your life together. When you’re used to seeing so much of each other, and then you suddenly don’t, it’s one of the hardest things to get through. Thank goodness for FaceTime.
8. You don’t get to have privacy anymore.
You know you’ve made it when you’re both using the bathroom at the same time. Enough said.
9. You can never say ‘I love you’ too often
These three words mean the most to your other half. Say them as many times a day as you can fit in. You cannot say them enough, whether it’s a random text throughout the day or a whisper before you go to sleep. I can never get enough of hearing Aidan remind me he loves me, and I know that he feels the same. It keeps you close. It becomes a habit to say. But it means so much.
I love you with all my heart.
You are mine.
17.04.08 to forever